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Insomia hits hard!!!

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Mar. 25th, 2004 | 05:36 am
気持ち: sleepy sleepy
音楽: Will Smith and DMX: Yeah, Hardcore Hip-HOP♪♪

O what a night. I have been up nearly the whole night, and here I am at 5:30 AM. What the flippin' fruitcakes am I still doing up?? Well, before I begin with tooday's journal entry, I would like to vent for a minute, please excuse me:


Okay, vent fest over.... What to write about??? Hmmm..... I noticed today how many people on and off line are deeply and harmoniously in love. Then there is me. I currently hide behind an icon of Neo (or Seraph) but no one really knows the real me (okay there is one person on LJ who does know me, but that is different) anyway, nobody really knows me, and cannot say what I look like, or what type of person I really am. One thing I will say it that I find surprisingly shocking and frustrating (boy thats a lot of i-n-gs, hee hee) how a person like me, who constantly hungers for love and the feel of a person in love with me, can continue to live each and everyday in fear of falling in love. Contradiction?? Sure it is. I want to fall in love, but I am afraid to. Well, that deals a lot with my past, and I can assure you that my past is filled with nasty potholes that makes it nearly impossible for anyone to follow. I am currently in self improvement of myself, as I feel there are issues in my past that when I think about it makes me depressed sometimes, but self improvement does not come easy. I am learning this lesson everyday as I challenge the fact of changing. The bottom line is, so I do not stray to far from the true reason why I am writing, I wish to be in love. I wish to have that feeling of giddiness that I once experienced many moons ago, yet I guess I have raised my standards to near impossible, cause here I am contemplating whether I should lower them, or keep them where they are.

Blah Blah Blah, people in a relationship, look at this and are thinking:: What the fudge are you talking about?? Stopping complaining and get up off your lazy okole and do something!! Thats for your support. TAke care, i am going to sleep *大きなアクビ*


Comments {6}

LiveJournal Identity.


From: mediocresau
Date: Mar. 25th, 2004 08:17 am (UTC)

Ha ha. To hide or not to hide behind an identity. When I first started "blogging" a few years back I was conflicted whether or not to use my true identity. Then I started incorporating my blog with my college radio show and vice versa. Next thing you know, I'm shamelessly whoring myself out. ;-)

So dude, its up to you if you want to expose your true identity. If you write it, people will read it. And sometimes its just more comfortable to write without exposing your identity. Because when one exposes their identity they may run into conflicts, like I do all the time.

So get some sleep mate, and stop worrying about love. It'll happen when it happens. More often sooner then later. Cheers!

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From: takeme2paradise
Date: Mar. 25th, 2004 04:00 pm (UTC)

I'm nosey, tell me everything about you, the REAL you! :] besides your love for HK

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From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 25th, 2004 11:18 pm (UTC)

I honestly appreciate the fact that you are interested in learning about the real me. But one thing I have learned from my Sociology class is that in order to learn about the real me, you would have to sit through years of personal interaction with me to do that. I am not brushing you away, i welcome the fact that you are interested in know who I am and what makes me the person I am today, but for that to happen we would have to be in contact with each other and I will then tell who I am, and you will learn who I am in due time. I do hope that you continue to read my journals to learn who I am. I enjoy making new friends, as I am lonely sitting at home. I am always looking for people to talk to and interact with because, according my last entry, I am not even in a romantic relationship though sometimes I wish I were. Anyway, am I rambling?? I do hope to hear more from you. I hope that we can become great friends, and if you need anything, email me, or look for me online. Take care.

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From: takeme2paradise
Date: Mar. 26th, 2004 09:27 pm (UTC)

I added you to my buddylist, but youre never on!

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From: jwacha
Date: Mar. 26th, 2004 10:54 am (UTC)

You know what, love is hard. I've never fallen in love myself, but from what I hear it is nice.
As for the true identity, I say that it is up to you. Mostly everyone I know on here I know in real life, so it's kind of a moot point for me...

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From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 27th, 2004 03:10 am (UTC)

Christian (Surprised): Never fallen in love, why that's terrible!!
Satine (Disagreeingly): No, living on the streets, that's terrible.
Christian (determined and with cute little puppy eyes): Love is like oxygen, love is a many spledid thing, all you need in love.
Satine (bothersome voice): O please don't start that again.
Christian singing: Awwll you need is love
Satine: A girl has goot to eat
Christian: Awll you need in love
Satine:; or she'll end up on the street.
Christian: Awll you need is love, love,
Satine: Love is just a game....

I would assume that you know the rest of this scene, if you have seen one of the greatest romantic films of all time, directed and produced by none other than..... BAZ!!! Whoo hoo

anyway, sorrry to hear about that. I have not been in love in a really long time. I have seen a lot of women who stir my heart, but they end up being
1) Married
2) Boyfriend
3) uninterested

Which leaves me...
1) Depressed
2) Dismayed
and of course
3) disappointed


Currently, I agree with Satine.... Love in just a game.

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