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To my love

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Mar. 21st, 2005 | 09:14 am
気持ち: complacent complacent

Well, Let me just say that I do not have a girlfriend, but I do have someone in mind. Unfortunately, I do not think she feels the same for me as I do for her. If you knew who she was, then you could understand why she does not. Nonetheless, I do have great feelings for her, and since I cannot come out and tell her how I feel, for obvious reason, I decided to share my confession here in my journal:
I think of everyday and every night. I wish that you and I could become more than what we are. I have sat on the sidelines watching you and secretly hoping and praying that one day you would realize how I feel about you, and you would feel the same way about me as I do for you. I would never hurt you, and this you know. I have been with you and hid my feelings from you. I wish that I did not have to do that, but considering the way things are I cannot tell you how I feel. I do love you. I love you more than I thoughht I could, or would. I still dream of the day when I can tell you how I feel. To give you the knowledge that I have secretly hid from you all this time. But that day is yet to come. I work constantly so that I would not have to speak to you. But when I see you, the feelings that I have continue to overflow and I think of how we would be together. When I was with you alone, I loved every minute of it. We talked like we were old friends, and in some sense, we are. But that is all we are....friends. I desire more with you. I desire to be more with you, but i know that I cannot and that is why I sit here, staring complacent at a screen, thinking about you, wishing you were here, wish that I could hold you in my arms. HOlding you warmly in my arms, consoling you and having you console me. Will that day ever come? Will I wake from this crazy dream and actually find you next to me? Or will you never acknowledge how I feel about you and will we just drift apart as time continues to flow like an endless river? Questions that time can only answer. But right now, I love you. I love you more than I can ever think about. I wish only happiness for you and that is why I shall never reveal my true feelings for you until opportunity and time agree to open the door towards your heart.

I love you, always.

You are always gonna be my love,
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても 
I'll remember to love, you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
今はまだ悲しいlove song
新しい歌歌えるまで
You will always be inside my heart
いつもあなただけの場所があるから
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you will still be the one
今はまだ悲しいlove song
新しい歌歌えるまで

宇多田ヒカル ~First Love

Comments {14}

From: sweetie348
Date: Mar. 21st, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC)
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How sweet!! :) I love the hello kitty icon too!

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thanks!!

hisensei808

From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 12:55 am (UTC)
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I am glad that you like it!! Yeah, well, like you I am still on the market. I have someone I do like, as you read, but there is a MAJOR problem, and i do not think she likes me as I like her. Tough, I know. So I am still "Looking" persay, but it is tough. I do hate being lonely though and do wish that there was some way to let her know, but even if I did, it would really complicate things. Anyway. Thanks for the post, keep on reading!!

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ana723

From: ana723
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 01:39 am (UTC)
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Wow the way you write it's almost as if she might be in a committed relationship already.

Poor thing, I hope things work out for you. I know what it's like to love someone and not know if they return your feelings. It's difficult.

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a little more difficult than a relationship

hisensei808

From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 02:22 am (UTC)
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yeah, it's tough, but such is life, n'est pas?? who knows what the future may hold, maybe she will come around a realize it, and maybe she will not. Let's not hold our breath, it's all in time's hands, heehee. Thanks for the support though.

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ちょっと待ったぁ~~~~~!!

yamkaori

From: yamkaori
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 02:37 am (UTC)
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先生って男なの?(爆笑)

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Re: ちょっと待ったぁ~~~~~!!

hisensei808

From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 03:27 am (UTC)
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そうさ....男だ〜〜〜ん(笑)

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Re: ちょっと待ったぁ~~~~~!!

yamkaori

From: yamkaori
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 06:32 am (UTC)
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えへへ・・・私先生をなぜか女だと思い込んでたよ!!!(爆笑)
彼女にアタックだ~~~~!!!頑張れ!!!
彼女が駄目だったら、私がいるわよん☆

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Re: ちょっと待ったぁ~~~~~!!

hisensei808

From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 06:36 am (UTC)
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そんな簡単な者じゃないよ.そうか...駄目だったら,君が居るか.それなら,もっと君のことを知り合わなきゃ!!彼女なら,もう4年だよ.でも、正直に言うと,きっと彼女を好き合う可能性が0です.シクシク。 ネ〜〜香り〜〜〜そばに居て〜〜〜ワ〜〜〜〜(号泣)

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From: xjustareactionx
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 06:26 am (UTC)
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Wow, that was quite deep.

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hisensei808

From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 06:38 am (UTC)
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as deep as it may be, it is a really complicated situation and I sincerely believe that I have close to 0% chance of getting with this girl. But, I needed to get it off my chest. I do hope that I meet someone soon. It would be nice to meet someone with a much less complicated situation, but.... well... u never know.

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From: xjustareactionx
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 07:59 am (UTC)
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You want a complicated situation? When this sunburn heals I say we hang out. :P We shall share our complicated situations and have ice cream. :P Do you like ice cream?

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Ice cream!!!

hisensei808

From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 08:21 am (UTC)
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Yum, who doesn't like ice cream?? Sure, sounds like fun, let's do it. I know an Ice Cream close to UHM so you don't have to go far, Bubbies!! Take care. Hope you heal soon.

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Re: Ice cream!!!

From: xjustareactionx
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 08:36 am (UTC)
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Haha lactose intolerants don't like ice cream the last time I checked ;) Just making sure.

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Re: Ice cream!!!

hisensei808

From: hisensei808
Date: Mar. 22nd, 2005 10:14 am (UTC)
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yeah, you're right, it would be difficult for them, hahaha. Anyway, let's do it!! get well soon!!

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