?

Log in

Gobble Gobble!

« previous entry | next entry »
Nov. 23rd, 2006 | 08:07 pm

Yeppers, if you are single and living alone, this is the start of the most depressing time of the year. This is going to be a little depressing, so read with caution!


Wow, where has the year gone?? I can't believe what a year I have had. It is not as bad as last year though. In fact, this year was a bit better. But, nonetheless, it was a tough year. I think what made it really hard was the fact that one point this year, I completely ran out of money and for the first time in like, my whole life, I actually had to rely on my mom to help me out. And for the first time, she actually pulled through for me. I am grateful for that. I really did not know how I was going to pull through that moment in my life. I felt weak. I felt as if whatever ominous force you believe in, whether it be God, Buddha, or whomever, was punishing me for my past crimes, my past feelings of guilt, and more. I think it is through this rough experience, I have made personal changes to my lifestyle and to my way of thinking.

But, here I am, still living, still standing, and still looking at life, wondering where to go from here. I enjoy my career to an extent. I am not compulsive as I noticed many other educators are. I mean, I have a friend who practically "lives to work." I do not wish to be like that. I mean, I enjoy working with my students, don't get me wrong, but I cannot and will not become completely absorbed by work to the brink of burning out. Ok, let me stop there, because this entry is not going to be all about my career. I am still feeling like there is something missing.

Well, there is one thing that I still do not completely comprehend...why is it that when I speak to my mother, I still feel angered by her? Ok, this will lead into a much deeper and longer story. Something to save for another day and night.


Good News: I got to a point in my online game where the motivation to play often is starting to dwindle. Which means, I may be back here on LJ more. I still enjoy playing the game, but in the game there is something called quests, and that, for me, made it worthwhile. But, I have completed all of the quests and now I am just playing to up my skills in the game. This is great, but does become boring after a while. Anyway, enough of my rambling. I shall end here and write more this week-end.

I know, you are all reading this and filled with questions that are just boggling your mind over and over, for that I sincerely apologize, honestly. In some wicked and demented sense, I feel as if I am reaching the middle age crisis that I had dreaded since my teen and twenties. Anyway...i think what I may do...to shed lights in this morbid darkness of myself....is, well, write more, lol!



Spider-man 3!!!! yes, I am a great Spider-man fan. I am stoked about the new film coming out. I can't wait for that.



Happy Gobble gobble for all.

Link | Purr | Share


Comments {2}

pandalamp

From: pandalamp
Date: Nov. 25th, 2006 01:37 am (UTC)
Link

"Well, there is one thing that I still do not completely comprehend...why is it that when I speak to my mother, I still feel angered by her?"

I totally don't know your relationship with your mother at all obviously, so I'm not really trying to compare but same thing happens with me. lol Though my reason's simple, my mother's a raving lunatic.

Spider man 3! Yay!!

Reply | Thread


Execrable Girl

From: secretlyowned
Date: Nov. 28th, 2006 12:39 am (UTC)
Link

I know, you are all reading this and filled with questions that are just boggling your mind over and over, for that I sincerely apologize, honestly.

yeah...too much to ask. but so much i probably won't ever know.

Reply | Thread